RETENTION: THE HEARTBEAT OF A LIVING LODGE - A blend of humour and serious discord

11th November 2025

From an idea submitted by W. Bro. Vapal Singh

We at The Ashlar thank W. Bro. Vapal Singh for submitting a collection of insights gathered from social media along with his thoughtful Masonic reflections. These have been refined by the editing team into an article that uses both humour and honesty to explore one of our most vital concerns: membership retention: Membership Retention.

A Brother’s Journey Beyond Initiation

Every Brother who joins the Craft seeks something: meaning, friendship, knowledge, or a sense of purpose. Retention, therefore, is not merely about keeping names on our roll; it is about keeping hearts invested, minds engaged, and experiences meaningful and fulfilling.

In Freemasonry, success is not measured only by the number of initiations but by how many of those Brethren remain fulfilled, inspired, and active years later.

As UGLE’s Members’ Pathway wisely reminds us: “Retaining members requires that each Brother feels valued, respected, and able to contribute meaningfully to the life of the Lodge.” That sense of value begins not at initiation but from the moment a man first encounters the Lodge. Every conversation, every ceremony, and every interaction shapes his understanding of what Freemasonry truly means.

When Tradition Becomes a Trap

One of the cartoons shared by W. Bro. Vapal Singh captures this perfectly: a row of Masons declaring, “As long as no one changes the ritual… moves my seat… shortens the meeting… or tries anything new all is well!”

It’s funny because it’s true. Humour exposes what formal reports cannot. Many Lodges unintentionally fall into the ‘comfort trap’ clinging to outdated habits not because they remain meaningful, but simply because they are comfortable.

Tradition, when cherished, gives us identity. But tradition, when idolised, becomes a cage. A Lodge that never evolves may soon become a museum, well-kept, but lifeless.

The Members’ Pathway advises every Lodge to ‘review traditions honestly’ and to be willing to ‘change or evolve any that are counterproductive to its future.’ True Masonic growth lies not in abandoning our roots, but in pruning what no longer bears fruit.

A Culture of Belonging

A Lodge must be more than a meeting place; it must be a community of growth and belonging. To achieve this, we must cultivate a nurturing culture, as the Pathway calls it, one that considers the needs of all members and treats them as they themselves would wish to be treated.

This means ensuring every Brother has a role that connects him to the work, planning succession so that both new and experienced Brethren feel engaged, and  maintains an atmosphere where courtesy, patience, and mentorship come naturally. When members feel seen and needed, retention takes care of itself.

Spotting the Early Signs

Resignations rarely happen suddenly. The warning signs are familiar: missed meetings, late dues, silence in Lodge chats, or gradual withdrawal from conversation. The Pathway advises us to act early. A kind phone call, a visit, or a word of concern can rekindle a Brother’s interest far more effectively than any formal correspondence after he has drifted away. Often, what a Brother needs most is not persuasion but connection.

Make Meetings Matter

The most practical retention strategy is straightforward: make every meeting worthwhile. Lodge nights should be well-prepared, efficient, and enjoyable. Today’s working men value their time and expect meetings that reflect care and purpose.

When administration overwhelms fellowship, or when ritual becomes mechanical, the spirit wanes. Balance can be restored by emphasizing education, fellowship, and good ritual, while trimming unnecessary formality.

Another cartoon depicted a Mason saying, “We’ve always done it this way.” The humor hits home because it reflects an attitude that stifles new ideas and, ultimately, drives away those who seek vitality and meaning.

Relationships Over Ritual

The quality of our ritual matters deeply but ritual alone cannot sustain Freemasonry. The Craft endures because of relationships. Senior Brethren must lead with kindness, tolerance, and courtesy — the hallmarks of a true Mason. A Brother who feels ignored will drift; one who feels appreciated will stay and flourish.

Each of us should occasionally ask: ‘Am I helping others find purpose within the Lodge?’ ‘Do I live to take, or live to give?’ When the answer leans toward giving, the Lodge thrives.

Mentorship: The Bridge from Curiosity to Commitment

Retention and mentoring are inseparable. A new Brother without a mentor is like a traveller without a map. The Members’ Pathway emphasises the importance of guidance before, during, and after initiation. When mentoring continues beyond the ceremony, curiosity matures into commitment, and membership transforms into brotherhood.

A Lodge Alive with Purpose

A Lodge that listens, adapts, educates and uplifts becomes a living organism, one that breathes purpose into every gathering. Such a Lodge will never struggle with retention, because every Brother knows he belongs to something living and meaningful.

So let us ask ourselves, as Masons and as Lodges: ‘Are we providing a space for our Brethren to grow, serve, and find joy?’ ‘Do we make them feel valued and understood?’ If we can answer yes, then we are not merely retaining members, we are retaining the essence of Freemasonry itself.